Dust Go To Sleep

Cooking and cleaning can wait 'til tomorrow,

 for babies grow up,

we've learned to our sorrow.

So, quiet down cobwebs.

Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby,

and babies don't keep.

Unknown

Stress

Benjamin failed a test today. A test that apparently is pretty important. His teacher and his Early Reading Intervention teacher are both so patient with him, so willing to work with his sensory issues. Today he took the Dibels Test which is all about literacy. His wonderful (we adore her!) teacher told me that he made it through the kindergarten portion of the test and then 'lost it'. It was the stress.

I brought my little man home, talking the entire drive about how some people, including his Papa, just have a hard time with tests. It's the stress. He said he understood but didn't want to talk about it anymore. We got home and I put the little ones down for their nap. Ben went into his room and loudly informed me that he needed new pants.... why? So here's how the truth about stress comes out.

"Why do you need new pants?"

"I had an accident"

"When?"

"At school"

"When at school?"

"During my test"

"Did you tell Mrs. Teacher * that you had to go to the bathroom?"

"No, it was a really important test"

"She would have let you go"

"No, I think it's illegal"

"I don't think so Ben. Tell me what happened."

"I had to go really bad and then I read the word 'mom' and got really sad and then I was done"

"So it wasn’t that you didn't know the words, it was that you had to pee?"

"Yep! Can I play the Wii now?"

Stress. It comes in all forms.

* I don't normally call his teacher Mrs. Teacher. She has a name, I swear.

Men of Snow

A few months ago I stood in a very crowded concert hall with my sister Becky. I was there, enjoying Ingrid Michaelson, on a borrowed ticket. She was amazing and my feet were killing me. I hadn’t heard much of her music like my sisters had but all of her music was so beautiful, her lyrics were so genuine. She sat at the piano and sang a song about a snow man and for some reason this song struck me. I don’t know what it was about it at the time but I loved it. After the show I bought the CD, stuck it in my bag and honestly forgot about it. But a few weeks after the concert, we went through some troublesome… stuff. We found out that the house that we had so hoped to buy, the house we are living in now, was being sold out from under us. At a terribly high price no less. We faced moving, again. We faced uprooting our babies from their home, again. And I stuck the CD in my car.

I hadn’t listened to the words at the concert, I just loved that it was about a snow man and the beautiful way her voice cried when he melted. But as I drove, alone, pondering what on Earth we were going to do, I listened to the words. I listened. And God spoke to me through a song about a snow man.

“And everything we love and hold so dear, it won’t really matter, when we disappear”

He spoke to me and he opened my eyes. All this stuff that Erik and I have made into a home for the last nine years doesn’t really matter. Where we live, the kind of car that we drive, the balance in our savings account, doesn’t really matter. Someday it will all melt away and what will be left are the ones that we love, the faith that we cling to and our Savior. That’s it.

I am afraid of where we are going at this point in our lives. I honestly feel like we are at some strange end to this stage of life. I don’t know what the next one holds. Where will we live? He will provide; he always has. How will we make these ends meet? He will provide us a way. Will my kids really be damaged if I force them to all share a room in a tiny apartment? No, maybe they can make some life long memories. And maybe, just maybe at the end of this long and scary journey is a simple life, with a home of our own.
 

So as we head down a road we are afraid to travel, I pray that we can let those things we hold on to, those things that don’t matter melt away.

Wordless Wednesday (Quick, before it's Thursday!)

Liam realized that his towel has a frog hat, which is really cute when he says it.

"Fog heeeaaaat"

Then he realized I was taking his picture.

Just a little rant....

Everyone around me is having babies. Ok, not everyone but it sure feels like it! My sister just had a baby (her name is Cosette and I LOVE HER!), my other sister Becky is having her very first baby in August (!!!!!!), and MckMama is having baby number five! I want one! I don't need one but I want one. Erik doesn't want another baby right now, so I'm not going to have one. But dangit I WANT ONE!!!!! I want another one of these sweet little heads to smell, another set of earlobes to pinch!

Ok.... that's out of my system. You can go back about your business now.

The Candy Cane Behind The Couch

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Now I have to give a little furniture background before I start this, just so I don’t sound like such a bad mommy here in a minute. My couch is not up against the wall, it is up against a corner with a cute little table and lamp behind it. And lots and lots of craft stuff and space. I promise!

The twins have a serious candy cane addiction. Oh wait, its Monday… the twins do NOT have a serious candy cane addiction. This addiction started with Grandma and those mini candy canes that you get from shopping mall Santas. They asked for one whenever we walked in Grandma’s door, which is almost daily for us. So jump to Christmas Eve. Erik and I always decorate the Christmas tree with candy canes on Christmas Eve, yummy chocolate ones and fruity ones. We should have known better… Christmas morning they became a problem. Erik rounded them all up and stashed them in a cupboard; we thought they were all up. Moments later Donnelly and Liam were in the midst of what may appear to others as a dog fight, a bright red cherry flavored candy cane in the middle. The wonderful skills that I have acquired as a mother kicked in and I did what any good mom would do. I picked up the pieces and chucked them behind the couch. Problem solved.

Ok, jump to today. This week has been a rough one! Erik had a nasty stomach bug on Sunday, Ben and Liam on Tuesday, me on Wednesday, Ben again on Thursday and Saturday. Fun times. Now I’ve completely lost my voice now and woke up Sunday feeling very crummy. Erik went off to church and I stayed home with the kids who are all feeling much better than mommy. Being the wonderful mommy that I am, I most certainly did NOT lie on the couch while my little ones crawled around me and watched a movie. I did NOT doze off and wake (moments later, I swear!) to find the little ones behind the couch, giggling. They think it’s pretty funny to get back there, mommy finds it pretty irritating. I immediately started my “that is not a safe place to play” rant and crawled over the couch only to find what they were giggling about. The candy cane. Yes, the bright red cherry flavored one from Christmas, cemented quite firmly to the little table behind the couch, hidden by picture frame. And what do you suppose the little ones are doing? Oh they were certainly NOT taking turns, working very hard to lick said candy cane off of the table. They did a pretty good job, too. Becasue I am the good mom that I am, I pulled them out from behind the couch and finished my "not a safe place" rant. I did NOT sit back, proud of the little ones for taking turns and sharing the candy cane. Nope, NOT me!

Happy Birthday Ben

Happy Birthday Benjamin

Love of my life

Tomorrow

Do you know what happens tomorrow?

He does.

My little man goes from one hand

to two!

I Pray

I pray for my son. I pray because everyday is a struggle against his senses, everyday his will and mine butt heads. I pray for him because he won't eat. I pray for him because tomorrow he will be six years old and he doesn't even weigh thirty-six pounds. I pray because everyday, the battle he wages with himself scares me.

I pray because I am thankful for the health of my children. Because other than asthma and SPD, my children are healthy. 

I pray for the health of other's children, I pray for their pain and their parents. I pray.

Late Night Mommy Time

What do you do after the kids are asleep? If you’re like me, you do a little something for yourself. I love to spend my evenings catching up on favorite shows with E, (via hulu, I love hulu!) watching a movie, crocheting something wonderful, finally eating dinner, playing tennis (or more realistically Star Wars) with E on the Wii or on a good day - blogging. Tonight the little ones were all exhausted. Ben and Liam both have had a stomach bug and Donnelly just hasn’t been herself for the past few days. After a nice warm bath and a few stories, all three kids were out! Even Ben who tends to find every reason in the book to get up and come out of his room. So tonight I had a little more time than usual, I decided to bake something. Coffee cake and boy does it look good! I wish I had pictures. I don’t. I do have the recipe!

Buttermilk Coffee Cake

2 ½ cups flour

1 ½ cups packed brown sugar

½ tsp salt

2/3 cup butter

2 tsp baking powder

½ tsp baking soda

½ tsp nutmeg

½ tsp cinnamon

2 eggs beaten

1 1/3 cups buttermilk or sour milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease the bottom and sides of a 13x9 pan.

In a large bowl combine flour, brown sugar, and salt. Cut in butter until mixture looks like coarse crumbs. Set aside ½ cup for topping. Stir in baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and nutmeg to remaining mixture.

In a medium bowl, combine buttermilk and eggs. Combine well and pour entire mixture into flour mixture. Combine until moist but don’t over mix. Spoon into prepared pan and sprinkle ½ cup flour mixture over top. I added a little cinnamon to this, you can add nuts too but my kids don’t like textures to mix so I left them out.

Bake at 350 for 35-40 minutes. Let stand for a few minutes, then consume entire pan before your husband finds out you made it. You don’t HAVE to do that last step but you can if you want to…

I hope you enjoy your alone time just as much as I do.

Baby Clothes and an Attitude Change

There was a time when I thought about baby clothes a lot. Seriously it was an obsession! The kids were always dressed to the nines in Baby Gap and Gymboree. It became a problem for me as it does for many bored mommies out there. This summer, after yelling at my mom for putting some of D's shirts in the dryer, I knew that something had to change. I honestly got on my knees and prayed that God would take the desire away. He was faithful. Up until now I could care less about the kids’ clothes, really. But spring is moving closer and though the boys can easily fit into last year’s summer stuff, Donnelly has grown like a little weed. So I have decided to make her the majority of what she'll need and boy am I excited about it! I can easily dress my little ones and NOT break the bank!

Here is a little taste of the fabrics that I'm drooling over!

I wish I wasn't me Moday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I hope that your Monday started off better than mine, I really do!

I most certainly did not start off my Monday deleting my blog. Oh no Not Me! I wasn't just trying out a new layout and lost everything, EVERYTHING! I did NOT work on it for three hours, until I was pulled from my struggle by a very weepy little girl at 3:45 am. That weepy little girl was NOT followed by two weepy little boys. And all three did NOT end up in my tiny bed with me and my very ill husband. Oh no, that never happens. Ever. I did NOT end up trying to fall asleep on the edge of my tiny bed, with no pillow and two toddlers stretched out between us, in tears because I had lost my blog, the blanket wasn't big enough for all of us, Ben didn't fit in our bed with the twins, I don't want to move, etc, etc. It was NOT a long night...

This morning I did NOT realize that finding my blog was pretty easy, as long as I looked in the right place. I did NOT get everything fixed just to have my sweet and wonderful little girl unplug the computer before it saved. No, NOT me! It's going to be a long day.....

Here I go... again... I swear...

I'll be the first to admit it, I have been a terrible blogger. The past month has been, shall we say.... full. In the past six weeks I have: celebrated my ninth wedding anniversary, found out that I'm going to be an auntie (AGAIN!), hosted Thanksgiving, went Christmas tree hunting, Kohl's sale shopping, amigurumi crafting, cookie baking, Great-Grandma visiting, toddler chasing, Lego playing, Christmas Program attending, baby loving, and enjoying many Christmas celebrations. It has been a full and blessed month.

They are such a beautiful blessing, no matter how hard it was to get this picture!

In honor of the new year and because I feel bad for neglecting my blog, I am making it my resolution to give a little time to it. And I will. I swear.

Right now I have so many things running through my little head. So many ideas and crafty little things that I want to do. Isn't this a wonderful place to share them!

I am in love with this pattern from Tanya Whelan of Grand Revival Design. I made Donnelly a little skirt with this pattern in the fall. It is so wonderful! I have a feeling that this will be a big part of her Summer wardwrobe!

This is for me! It is also by Tanya Whelan.

This is another little thing I want to make for Donnelly. Little girls are so much fun! I'm not too sure how plausible this one is for me since I am not an experienced seamstress. But it's lovely! This is the Claire Pattern by Sandi Henderson. I just adore it!

Benjamin is a fan of foxes. His lovey is a ratty little fox named Todd. Ben also has a large puppet fox named Mama Todd and a little fox that Santa brought him named Brother Todd. I really want to make this for him. He would make a lovely addition to the little Todd family.

So, to add these things to the sweater I am crocheting for D and the monkey I need to start for a friend, I would say I have my work cut out for me. I love having my work cut out for me. It's wonderful!