Wordless Wednesday

~~ Love ~~

Rain

I woke this morning, very early, to the sound of rain beating down on the roof of my back porch. I laid there for a long time in awe of the grace of God. You see it has been around 100 degrees here for the entire summer. There has been no rain, no relief. As I listened to that magnificent sound, I dreamed of long sleeves and sweaters, hot coffee and NOT watering my garden. But my thoughts wandered to the spiritual relief of God’s rain. How when you feel lost and your spirit is pushed to its limits, He provides you with Rain, relief, peace. I went to my Bible to search for a scripture about rain (can you tell I love rain!) but I jumbled up the numbers and ended up at a different passage. A passage that made me laugh out loud. How does God do it? Last night I had a brief email conversation with my sister, whom I love very much. We briefly shared some pain in our lives and I went to sleep praying for something to give to her as much as to myself. The verse that I jumbled was that something. It was what I needed and now I have something to give her.

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the Land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and HE shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14

Thank you Lord for the rain that brought me such peace.

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I tried so hard to get a picture of D in the wonderful skirt and leg warmers (thanks Auntie Jessi for the awsome socks!) that I made for her. But she was beyond crabby and had recently taken a black sharpie to her own face. I guess I should be proud that my not-quite-two year old was able to make a perfect ‘X’, too bad it was on her face! This was the best I could do…. I'll try again later.

My First Not Me! Monday! Yipee!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

What a great week for me to start Not Me! Monday! It had been a busy week of not being me!


I most certainly did not start this week by forgetting about the load of clothes in the washer not once, not twice but three times. I did not have to wash said load of laundry four times to get it to smell like fresh laundry. Not me! I always do the laundry perfectly, always!

For lunch on Sunday, I did not mash up broccoli and hide it in the couscous just to get my wonderful kids to eat it. And when D complained about her milk, there is no way that I pretended to put Ovaltine in it. Not Me! I have perfect children that love their veggies and always drink their milk plain.

At church, my child was not the one playing Robin Hood in Sunday school. Not My Child! And there is no way that Robin was equipped with The Force (yes the one from Star Wars) and was using said force on the Sunday school teacher’s son. Nope. Not My Child! My children are always well behaved. Always!

And finally, I did not get extremely excited when I realized that I now have a blog and I now can participate in Not Me! Monday! I did not. I swear. I am always cool, level headed person. I did not freak out about being part of this lovely Mckmama carnival.  Ok, maybe I did.... a little.

Yes My hands are full..... kind of

If I hear that phrase one more time I may scream. No matter where I go, if I have the twins with me, I will without a doubt hear that phrase.

"Boy do you have your hands full!"

Most of the time it is said in a sweet and mostly joking tone but every so often it's said with distain. Once when the twins were very tiny babies, a woman stopped me in Target. She looked at my prefect sleeping babes and asked if they were twins. Glowingly, I said yes. She then proceeded to tell me that if she was ever told that she was having twins, she'd kill herself. I stood there is absolute shock as she went on her merry way. I still think about that woman and how sad it was that she couldn't find the beauty or God's miracle in my sweet babies. These days they've been adding a new element to the "hands full" comment. D is at least three inches taller than sweet little L and a good three pounds heavier. It's been this way since birth. D has just recently started to have that little girl look while L  still has a sweet little baby face. All too often, people think they must be siblings and not twins. Now I get "Boy do you have your hands full, how close in age ARE they" as if it's some unspoken sin to have your children close together. I always tell them 57 seconds and then I walk away. They'll figure it out.

 

This judgment from others, this "you have too many babies" glare has really started to bug me now that my babies are edging closer to their second birthday. This is a magical time; this is thinking about the next baby time! I can't help but wonder what would be going on right now if I had had a singleton instead of twins. Now don't get me wrong, I adore my babies! I could never ask to be more blessed than being the mommy of my amazing babies. But, yes but! This is that magical time when we would be thinking about having another bundle of joy. I can't help but feel a small sense of loss. I want to be pregnant again. I want another baby but I don't feel that I have the right to want that. I have my three kids, all I need now is a dog and a picket fence and life should be perfect. Right? So why do I feel these pangs, this desire? A better question would be - why do I feel that we can't have more children? Are three children really too many? I need to take some time to sort out those answers, I need to wait for His answers and His time.

In the mean time (and yes time is mean right now!) while I wait patiently for the desire to go away or consume me, I'm trying to occupy my time. This weekend I felt very crafty. Ok EXTREMELY crafty. I made myself and my sister magnificent slings for my clingy babies and her soon-to-be newborn baby girl. I had enough leftover fabric to make D a lovely little skirt. When that craft was not enough, I made D four pairs of leg warmers in hope of cooler weather. Check out these fabulous goodies:

 

And if you are wondering, yes that is a baby deer made out of pipe cleaners. I crafted him and his little family this week, too.

Thankful

I came across this song while reading a blog late last night. It was playing in the background and I hadn't even noticed it until I realized that I was crying. This is my prayer. My desire. To seek my Father, to sit at his feet and feel his presence. This is where I want to lead my children.

The more I seek you,

the more I find you

The more I find you, the more I love you

I wanna sit at your feet

drink from the cup in your hand.

Lay back against you and breath, here your heart beat

This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.

I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming.

 

The more I seek you,

the more I find you

The more I find you, the more I love you.

By Kari Jobe

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

The Lord reaches out to us in strange and mysterious was. I am so thankful for that.

I'd like to share one of my favorite passages of scripture. I turned to it often as a teenager, it's highlighted in about eight different colors in my bible! I turned to it again last week when I was overwhelmed. The Lord is so faithful to meet us where we are. I am so thankful to Him for his faithfulness even when I am so unworthy.

“Yet if you devote your heart to him

and stretch out your hands to him,

if you put away the sin that is in your hand

and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,

then you will lift up your face without shame;

you will stand firm and without fear.

You will surely forget your trouble,

recalling it only as waters gone by.

Life will be brighter than noonday,

and darkness will become like morning.

You will be secure, because there is hope;

you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid,

and many will court your favor."

Job 11:13-19

It's a Wonderful Life

OK, I'll be the first to admit that life isn't always so wonderful. Life is hectic, life is painful, life is messy and if you have small children like I do Life is quite often stinky. Life is... well... life. But I have found that if I can put aside the frustration, try to not notice the mess, if I can get past the monotony of being a stay at home mom, life really can be wonderful.

I am Emily, a stay at home mom to three small children. B is our oldest. He is five years old and has just started kindergarten. D and L are our 22 month-old boy girl twins. I have wanted to be a mommy for as long as I can remember. I have prayed for babies of my own since I first knew how to pray. The Lord answered my prayers with my sweet babies. I am more blessed than I ever could imagine. I am married to E, a wonderful man. We met at his high school youth group and were high school sweethearts. E and I have been married for almost nine years and while our marriage is no where near perfect, we really do adore each other. E is my best friend and my constant. I couldn't begin to imagine my life any different than it is. I am so blessed and so thankful!

My plan for this blog (besides bragging about my beautiful children!) is to have an outlet for my frustrations and my joys. I would also really like this to be a place where I hold myself accountable for my daily walk with the Lord and for the way that we lead our beautiful children in Him.